Day 6: lack of sleep

Giving myself this 20 mins or so, to sit down and jot something down, so much resistance to write, like to recall the words, ‘just do it’, sometimes you just have to do it, the right feeling, or the right moment wont’ arrive as you expect.

Looking at my mind this morning, yeh there is something heavy/tired feeling as if its going to be a bad day. Don’t feel much rested or slept well, but good 5-6 hours I must have slept, it’s the expected good long 8 hours that I didnt’ get.

I forgive myself for believing that I am tired just because I lack 8 hours of good sleep.

I forgive myself for believing it’s going to be a bad day because I lack the expected 8 hours of good sleep.

I forgive myself for believing that I lack, and equate 5-6 hours of sleep to lack. in this I see that I am creating the idea of lack, because 5-6 hours is sufficient sleep given that I don’t do physical labor work during the day, or any strenuous physical gym workouts, so 5-6 hours of sleep is sufficient, in this I see that ‘lack’ and ‘tiredness due to lack’ are ideas I have created and accepted for myself.

I forgive myself for equating not having 8 hours of sleep as ‘lacking’ and ‘tiring’, within that I forgive myself for conditioning myself to accept this physical tiredness in the mornings when my sleep is limited to 5-6 hours.

It’s a new day, just starting, body is here, I am breathing, but the ideas about lack is there only because I allow and accept it, and believe in it.

I forgive myself for believing, accepting and allowing that I must have 8 hours of sleep otherwise its a lack and I will be tired.

I forgive myself for allowing these ideas into the very core of myself, my body, my mind, and make it a living reality, living words of myself. well its time to correct this.

Breath by breath. breathe in, hold, breathe out. within that the ideas cannot perpetuate, the ideas about tiredness, lack cannot continue, because in the ‘hold’ moments, the ideas will lose their grip on me, slowly but surely. It’s not going to happen magically where I am perfectly normal with 5-6 hours of sleep. But each time I face this tiredness, this feeling of lack, even this feeling of being victimized, as if something is robbed out of me, I pause and I breathe, in and out, and give myself that moments of hold, so I can discontinue these patternss, ideas I am living as.

There are some environmental and other factors I may have to look at why I may get interrupted in sleep, those are practical steps, but in terms of ideas and beliefs, no more, breath by breath, stop its power over me.

I forgive myself for giving away my self power to ideas like ‘lack’ and ‘lack of sleep’, ‘tiredness’ etc. within this I also forgive myself for creating new ideas about the day, like its going to be a bad day, so when and as I see myself living these ideas, I bring myself back to breathing, give myself that moment of holding,

all the keys are here.

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