Day 14: Why nothing has changed

Staring at the blank page is a good way to start writing, its like my mind is fixed on saying ‘there is nothing to write about’. It’s a struggle with every blog, but that’s when just jump in, so I am asking what is that blocking me here? judgments. fear of being ridiculed, or mocked at, laughed at, so that implies there is an audience in my mind, this is a problem. Doing anything with others as a focus is a problem, specially in a journey to life process like this where my mind, my patterns, habits, thoughts, words, actions, should be the focus, because my stuff alone drives my world, those are the stuff that create my world, truly a waste to allow judgement, self-judgement because what others may think of my writing isn’t going to do a thing for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the point about this process, which is self, my journey to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize there cannot a change in this world without change in self, otherwise things just repeat, one revolution is replaced with another, one dictator is replaced with another, absolutely no change in this world, same corruption, dysfunction continues, what has changed in last 100 years? they say human rights have improved, yet billions starve each night, they say international relations have improved, yet many interventions lately leading to many failed states and endless refugee crisis, and of course no end to talks of war. Nothing has changed in the world, because self has not changed, I have not changed, so long as I remain as my current me, this world will remain as this. This is why its easy to blame the politicians, not seen/realizing the real problem is self, at some point everything boils down to self. the self of me, and self of others, but starts with me, then the equality equation takes on as one becomes an example to another, otherwise no matter how great the next guy in office is, but the one after could undo all good things to recreate hell again because nothing has changed, because I haven’t’ changed.

and this thing called change, only one can truly be evidence of that, because what others see in me can be projected, manipulated, make to them see ‘hey I am changing’, but only I know if I am changing.

all the keys are here:

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