Day 22: Barrier – 2

continuing with barrier point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that its hard for me to connect with people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to construct a view, a belief within myself that I have nothing to share with others therefore not easy to connect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that connecting with others is a trade, a game, where I have to impress others to get them to like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the receiving part of the connection with others, that my starting point is what I can get, rather than what I can give. Because give and you shall receive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself look at connecting with people as a trade, a form of profiteering, always measuring the pros and cons, gains and losses, and in that immediately disregard any not so profitable folks out of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that since I have nothing to give, I can only get.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have nothing to give to another, I am devoid of any substance or value, so I simply cannot give but can only receive those things. This is a root cause self-diminishing belief that needs deconstruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure the worth of a human being including myself, based on what one can give, not seen/realizing the worth of a human being is innate, life is the true worth of a being. Nothing acquired, gathered, learned or developed can add to one’s worth, self-worth is something everyone born with, LIFE gives worth to all equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to barricade myself within the belief that I lack worth, that I wont be seen any worthy, therefore out of the fear of shame, I hide myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to solidify resistance to connecting with others so much so now it appears as a hard barrier, a self-made barrier.

Perhaps the real root is not connecting with myself, not looking into the parts of myself, my mind, my physical body and environment, been too hard on myself, too judgmental about myself, too critical about myself, not been gentle or showing any care for self, in effect I have created a graven image of myself, and I know it, I fear it, out of this shame comes the tendency to barricade myself from connecting with others.

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