Day 82: Carelessness

#carelessness #substance, #whocares, #whybother #don’tcare #desteni #eqafe

The personality of carelessness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the living embodiment of ‘don’t care’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to physically and resonantly carry myself as someone who doesn’t give a fuck about anything or anyone, just don’t care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since others don’t care, why bother, why should I care, and use that as a justification to exist as carelessness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself, my default state as carelessness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize carelessness is the complete abdication of responsibility, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I have first abdicated responsibility to myself, living in a state of carelessness for myself, in that live in a state of carelessness for others. As within so without, if I dont’ care for myself, caring for others is impossible. Not giving a damn about others basically means I dont’ give damn about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the character, the personality of carelessness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the living personality of carelessness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize care starts with self-care, replace care-less with care-more, giving myself, my mind, its contents the direction to live in a way that’s best for all and best for me, not to be consumed by the energy of carelessness.

Reading this fear of intimacy blog today, there is this coolest line: “moving myself into the substance of the moment, the substance of me, the substance of them – to be really HERE and so really HEAR myself and another”, that’s care, self-care and caring for others, the opposite of carelessness is to dive into the substance of the moment, the substance of myself and another as myself, no separation, in fact absolute responsibility.

I commit myself to dive into the substance of the moment, of myself, of another as myself, in that giving directions in a way what’s best for all, and best for me. I realize care doesn’t exist in separation, self-care is tied to caring for others as myself, and I realize self-care is where care starts.

When and as I see myself in that character, personality of carelessness, I stop I breathe, and direct myself to dive into the substance of the moment, to be here, to hear myself and others as myself, in that directing the moment in a way that’s best for all, and best for me. There are no shortcuts to care.

I see/realize carelessness personality is a defense and protection mechanism, to hide myself, to protect myself, from being hurt, and being rejected, its a safe way to exist in isolation, because ‘who cares’. I realize this personality system doesn’t serve me anymore.

#desteni

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